Bernard, where he liked to be, in my office
Bernard’s gone. I’ve just got back from the vet’s after taking the decision to put him to sleep.
He was really struggling over the weekend, completely uninterested in things, wouldn’t come if I called him and lagged so far behind on the walk it was sad to see him struggling along.
After talking with Margret, I finally made the decision that enough was enough. After talking to my vet this morning I decided with a really heavy heart that time was come. He’s been suffering immensely and Jerker, the vet, thought this was absolutely the right thing to do. We’ve really tried so much to turn this around.
So I took the woofs on a walk this morning through the forest. Bernard got to be off-lead and enjoyed nosing about at his own pace – far behind as usual. Then when I got home I gave him a huge portion of fresh lamb and rice, his favourite, which he scoffed down. He seemed happier than I’d seem him in a long time, which weighed heavily on my mind as I drove him to the vet.
I went on my own although Margret had discussed going with me over the weekend.
I didn’t actually tell anyone I was doing this as I felt it was totally my call and anyway: he’s my dog.
So we got there I was pretty cut up but the vet was very good. They gave us a little room of our own and let me play with Bernard for a bit. I put treats in my mouth and he took them from my lips. The funny thing was this was the best contact we’ve had for months. If not well over a year.
He then had his calming injection and we continued to play the game until he suddenly lay down and, after one last sweet, fell into deep sleep.
The fifteen minutes before the vet came with the final injection were the worst. It felt as if Bernard was gone already but I held him and chatted, being close to him.
When the vet finally came in he struggled to find a vein that would take the injection. They collapsed each time he tried. After several goes we took the decision to inject straight into his liver. The vet gave him the first three syringes and then I asked to give him the final syringe. It felt absolutely the right thing to do. I wanted to take full responsibility for him until the end.
He took longer than I hoped to slip away. I lay there listening to his breathing with my head next to his. Again, we talked of hopefully one day running through the forests together with all the woofs having happier times.
Then after he stopped breathing I felt his heart beat until it stopped. He was gone.
After the vet came in to check him, I took one last farewell and left through the side exit reserved for moments like this. It was a long drive home through the snow but in a way I felt oddly relieved at the same time as very sad.
After being cremated in Värmland, he’ll come back home and I plan to bury him with a tree come the spring. A tree overlooking the dog pen where he often sat, snoozing in the sunshine in the summer months.
Today is Lucia in Sweden as my Scandinavian friends will know. If you don’t know, it’s the day we celebrate Saint Lucia who comes with a crown of candles, carrying light and sweets. It’s the traditional start of Christmas and reminds us that light will replace darkness. It seemed fitting that today would be Bernard’s last day as he will always be remembered on December 13th with Lucia.
Now I’m home I’ve had some cocoa and bread. I’ve fed Winnie, Aggie, and Tia and tried not to show my feelings. They’re mucking about the house now and soon I will go outside to feed the pups.
Life goes on, but I’ll always have a special place in my heart for Bernard. A shy basset who lost the rascal in him far too early.
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This was absolutely heart breaking to read, but thank you so much for sharing your story. Bernard looks exactly like Cornelius in that photo…. I’ve just told him the sad sad news and he gently licked my tears away…. Thank you Bernard for giving me a wonderful friend….
Lots of love and light to you,
Annette, Cornelius and Charlie
Our thoughts are with you at this very sad time Jon…it was a horrible decision to have to make, you are a stronger person than me.
Angels never stay with us for very long but the lives they touch while they are here ensures they will never be forgotten, Sweet dreams Bernard.
All our love
Donna & Jon
xxx
This was very very sad news, but I´m soo grateful too have met such a wounderful boy… and soo grateful that we have a piece of him in Cornelius.
Thinking of you all and sending lots of love and hugs.
/Anders
How terribly sad, that must have been such a difficult decision. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Hope the other dogs will be able to keep your spirit up.
Jon, I am so sorry to hear about Bernard. I know all too well the pain that you are feeling right now; I’m actually crying as I write this. Bernard was such a handsome boy, and I wish that I had gotten the chance to meet him. From everything you ever said about him, I know he was an amazing dog… although what basset isn’t amazing, right?
When Elwood passed away in July, I told myself that hopefully he & Dudley were playing together again. [Dudley was Elwood's uncle & best friend. They were 5 months apart in age, but we lost Dudley to cancer in 2005.] Perhaps Bernard is hanging out with them, too. It would certainly be a meeting of some of the best bassets ever.
A friend of my mom’s gave her a card with the following on it after we lost Elwood, and my mom gave me a photocopy of it, which has been on my fridge ever since…
~~~~
They will not go quietly, the dogs who’ve shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know their spirit still survives.
Old habits still make us think we hear a barking at the door.
Or step back when we drop a tasty morsel on the floor.
Our feet still go around the place the food dish used to be,
And, sometimes, coming home at night, we miss them terribly.
And although time may bring new friends and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts belongs to them…
and always will.
~~~~
You will be in my thoughts, Jon. And please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything. I unfortunately know all too well what it feels like to have a basset-shaped hole in your heart
I was deeply saddened to hear about the handsome Bernard. I understand how you are feeling right now since we just lost Elwood this summer. It is always hard to lose such a good friend.
Barbara Clutter
Becky’s Mom
We are so sorry Jon. We fully understand how you are feeling. We lost our Lea and Fibi 3 years ago in a period of 4 days. Be sure that when we shall close our eyes forever, we shall reunite with our dogs FOREVER! So look ahead.
My favourite, nicest bloke one will ever meet. Remember when he sat on my lapp as a puppy, on his way to his new home. Wish i could patt him now. xxx
I am so sorry about Bernard, Jon – So very sorry. I am so thankful Bernard had you to to care for him until the very end.
Our thoughts are with you and your family in this very hard time.
With much love, Cat, Chaps and Emma
Thank you to everyone who has left a comment. It really helped.
It’s getting better being without him, but I’m glad the new snow has come. It was upsetting seeing his prints in the snow.
It’s only since I’ve been walking the other woofs without Bernard that I realise how much he must have struggled for a good while. He never complained, just plodded along at his own pace, but I could see he struggled. Now I hope he’s running around through a big forest somewhere special, looking out for when the rest of us join him. I know I’ll see him one day.
Hej Jon.Även om jag bara har läst och set bilder på eran Bernard så kan jag åndå förstå den stora sorg ni känner nu.Försök tänka så här att det är just därför vi sörjer och saknar dem så mycket därför att de gav oss så många lyckliga stunder.Vi tänker på er och skickar många och varma Basset kramar till er.Hälsningar från Dorte o alla Bassar på Kennel Bassador.
Verkligen sorgligt och tråkigt. Men så fint skrivet om Bernard. Känner med dig. Baloo vår förra hund fick också somna in i höstas. Trodde hjärtat skulle stanna i mitt bröst när han somnade in för gott. fruktansvärt men ändå skönt för honom att slippa lida. Hoppas och Tror Baloo finns i himlen nånstans där andra hundar också finns och leker och är starka. Ett gott nytt år önskar vi er. Mina barn och lille Duncan som växer och mår prima.
Varma hälsningar Annalisa
Again, thanks to everyone who left a comment. Bernard has left a hole in my heart but he’ll always be remembered.
Förstår att det känns tungt och ledsamt. Vi vet ju alla hur jobbigt det är när den dagen kommer då våra små älsklingar lämnar oss. Bernard var en härlig basset, han var mycket basset precis som hanar skall vara.
Tänker på Er.
Kram från oss på Bassestugan.
I’m so sorry to hear about Bernard. Time flies with dogs, it seems one minute they’re still just puppies and the next they’re aging with all the pains and aches that go with it. This post was a great tribute to him. I remember him as the only dog that could be allowed in the room when J was just a toddler, because he was so friendly and sweet and in tune with him. He was a terrific dog and I’m sad that he’s no longer with us. Of all your dogs he was the one that left the strongest paw-print in my heart. Maybe he’s tumbling around with my family’s old labradors now, particularly the yellow friendly exuberant Freddy, who would now doubt have enjoyed tug-of-wars and sneaking treats with ol’ Bernie. I’d like to think so.